Happy Day to all my dear readers!
On May 26th 2011, I've completed my first ever full marathon, and wrote a note on it. Most of those that had read, commented that it was inspiring, especially towards non-runners and virgin-marathoners. Hence I would like to share out this personal note that was written a week after the run, as both an inspiring message to all marathon virgins out there, and another opportunity for my readers to get to know me better!
*It's a looooooong note, but worth the read ^^*
On May 26th 2011, I've completed my first ever full marathon, and wrote a note on it. Most of those that had read, commented that it was inspiring, especially towards non-runners and virgin-marathoners. Hence I would like to share out this personal note that was written a week after the run, as both an inspiring message to all marathon virgins out there, and another opportunity for my readers to get to know me better!
"...On the bus towards Changi Exhibition Center, the event area for 2011 Singapore Sundown Marathon. 45 minutes into the journey at 8pm, I'm stuck in the jam, and I noticed that, I HAD FORGOTEN BY RACING BIB!!! I left it back in the hostel, how crap is that?!I've only 2 choices at this point, go back to the hostel to get it and risk running late for the START; or to just run without a timing chip. I chose the latter due to the never-ending jam from Changi Airport to the Event Area as 10km and 21km were flagged off, while mine was at 10pm.
So once I stepped down from the bus at 8.30 pm, I rushed to the secretariat to get my blank race bib, luckily I was allowed one...That solve the problem. But it had already ate up a little of my mental energy on the bus. Knowing how serious this is, I quickly find a quiet spot, changed up, kits-up, and started to feed myself with positive thoughts and continuously suggest myself that I'll do better than expected in the race...
Pre Race - Trying to keep myself awake (see my forceful big eyes?)
My goal for this 1st ever marathon in my life was to run a timing under 4 hours, a feat which is rarely achieved by newcomers, and I will want to be among the rare breeds too =p. I trained strictly for 3 months, running 3-4 times at night after work on weekdays, and mornings on weekends, alone or not, I kept my training on schedule (most of the time =p). I saw results on my training when I ran my 21km Bareno run @ 2:10:00 and another 21km training run in Ipoh 2 months later @ 1:55:00. I'm all ready for this day.
9.45pm, 42km runners were ushered towards the starting line based on the time they are expected to finish. 4:00; 4:30; 5:00; 5:30: 6:00...and the rest were runners who just want to finish the distance and race. A Boston Marathon champion once said, "It doesn't matter how fast or how slow you ran a marathon, when you cross the finish line, it.will.change.your.life."
I made my way through the crowds, into the group of 4:00, with the pacers (runners who were trained priorly to set the pace for the targeted timing). Energy was very high there, it was great being in front, I was just 1 group behind the professionals (kenyans, westerns, season marathoners etc), my motivation was in check. Strategy of the pacers - 5:30 split 1st 10km; 5:20 split 2nd 10km; 5:40 split 3rd 10km; and 5:50 split on the last 12km. I could run that easy since I ran a 5:20 average split for my training run in Ipoh. So I stayed there...and waited patiently.
10:05pm, we were flagged off! Nine-thousand wackos slowly went through the start line (we can't be fast because everyone was so close to each other). Weather was humid, VERY HUMID, and there wasn't much oxygen (well, it's in the night), and the 5km traffic jam wasn't helping either when it's just beside us for that 5km stretch.
Heart rate check after 1km - 188bpm, 5:00 split; 2nd km check - 186bpm, 5:00 split..same goes to 3rd km, 4th km, 5th km. It's a BIG PROBLEM, I shouldn't be running this fast this early, and my heart definitely can’t sustain this intensity for long, and I've 37km more to go! A fast check with the pacers said that they were going fast for the 1st 5km to create a gap with the pack, so that we can slow down easier later on. Wrong strategy for me, I blame myself for being careless not realizing that earlier.
The next 5km was very hard for me, I slowed down to 6:00 splits, hopeful to slow down my HR to 170+ bpm, heart was burning, leg was ok, but am already mentally exhausted. That's pretty bad, and I'm not even at the 10km mark! Took my 1st energy gel at 40 minutes into the race, I was focusing on nutrition efficiency, and making my goal to reach every 2km water station @ 6:00 splits. I can only afford that for now, to reserve and to re-energize myself. At this point, there's only 1 term in my mind - giving up (from 6km to 10km). I shut down my mind, and focus on my strides. My only choice, as giving up wasn't a choice! Hit 10km @ 1:00:19.
Knowing that I'm the slow to warm up type, I kept going on with the high stress on my heart and body. And oh I'm so glad that my body was rejuvenated at km11, heart rate slowed down to 170+ bpm, and leg was feeling great. I ran 5:30-5:40 splits from then on into the park. Good thing that the breeze was blowing from the sea, I needed more oxygen! With the breeze, runners around, cheers from hundreds of spectators along the next 20km park stretch, my mind was switched on again, all positive, all motivated, all clear...until km16, sub-4 timing wasn't a problem for me, or so I thought. 3 gels had been downed.
The unexpected happened at km16. Leg was dead. Practically to say, my leg was at the limit and I was like, WHAT THE FISH?! It's only km16! And I know what will happen when my leg is dead. Choices need to be made, strategy needs to be changed (at the end of this post, I'll mention why are my leg died so early). One thing remains positive - my mind. And I'm very glad of that. Guess the difference between me and my sifu, is we've opposite strength in marathons.
From km16, I ran, I walked, I stop and stretched. If I'm feeling good, I'll run faster. My goal - next water station. Sub goals that can be reached faster, is a fast way of giving hope that I can reach my eventual goal later on. It's a motivation, confidence booster, a food for my mind. And I needed that very much every second in the 75% race course left. Another mistake I made was that I gulped too much water and 100 plus. Gas was accumulating, and I was burping all the way. So the burping from my mouth pushed me backward, giving me resistance while running...OK I WAS CRAPPING XD! But I was feeling nausea due to it, could had vomit anytime. Back muscles were too tight and could cramp anytime. I couldn't focus to think of anything to distract the pain, mp3 on, blasting music with the hope to keep me distracted, it worked for some time...thankfully.
From this point of km16, every 1km was like a 5km. From 5:00 splits at the start, I was running 10:00 splits. 2km water station...2km water station...1km water station...500m water station, which was all I was doing my best to think...negative thoughts were coming in, but I rejected it...not easy, but I had to...I've a race to finish. Aside from that, I also made it at km16 to not let 4:30 pacers pass me. I'm optimistic of it. I can't see the 4:00 pacers anymore, didn't know where they went, as the opposite roads are the ones who've passed the 21km mark and made the U-turn. I hit the 21km mark @ 2:29:00, the worse timing I've had for a half marathon, and my 1st half marathon weren't even this slow!
Along the road, there were the spectators shouting, horning, passing on free oranges and bananas. Putting up cardboards with inspirational message like, "Sleep Can Wait", "You're half way there!", "Running is life!", and the one I loved most - "Never give up", it's what I needed most too. I loved the volunteers too, the one hired to motivate us along the road; they had nothing else to do aside from shouting at us to keep us going! Had never experienced that in Malaysia organized marathons, not yet maybe.
Pain sets in from km21 onwards. Tendon muscles had swelling pain, pain around my knees and ankle. It's only swell pain, I could still run. So the run-walk-stop and stretch routine went on and on, passing by km22, km24, km26, where all the water stations are...km26 is my new record distance, never ran this far before, and am ahead to run a 42km!
It was a hard war fought with my legs to pass km30. I was more than halfway there, 12 more km to run, 12km will be an easy run! It's my normal training distance, how can I not run easily! That was a change of thought I had in my mind to keep me running as long as possible before walking. I have yet to see a 4:30 pacer pass by me, but to my surprise, a 5:00 pacer is in front of me, I'm doomed from a 4:30 timing. “Nevermind” I said to myself, I just wanted to finish the race. 15 minutes later, a 5:30 pacer passed by me...as demotivating as it is, I kept going. Timing is no more my goal, finishing this marathon at this condition, was my new goal.
From km30 onwards, it's no more swelling pain, it was sharp pain. For you readers, imagine the pain a day after your 1st high intensity badminton session, running session, cycling session after a long break. That level of pain with double the intensity, and it's a sharp pain like a dagger continuously stabbing your knee, back, ankle; not the normal swelling type. I was running and walking with that pain. I told myself once I finished this, I will be the master of pain, I will have lots more that I will not be afraid of anymore. I ran the next 12km with this pain. I ran like a person with asymmetrical legs.
The last 9km were exceptionally harder, I know the road well as I'd ran that 9km from the start line, I know where the finish line was, but it was like double the distance compared to the starting. I was running and walking shorter distances, and stopping more frequently. Mentally, I'm still strong, but my leg pain was getting excruciating and I'm not exaggerating! I must finish this! One hour passed by, turned right, last 3km to go... a group of 3 uncles were sweeping runners 1 by 1, getting them along the train, motivating them to go for the last 3km, “we can still do a sub 5:30:00”!!! I tagged along, throughout the next 2km, whenever he heard me sigh-ing, or shouting, he said, "relax your neck, relax your shoulders, let your leg do the work, keep the momentum going, and your leg will move more easily, it's 2km more, only 2km more, you can do this..." he never failed to say this whenever he hears something negative from me. I kept running. After 20km of run-walk-stop, this is the 1st 2km that I ran continuously. I endured the pain on my leg. I stopped at the last 1 km, I saw the finish line, but I can't bare the pain anymore, every time my right leg touched the grown starting from the last 1 km if I ran, it was as if my knee is going to break to 2 halves, I was not going to risk it. I walked 50m and ran 5m, finishing line was closer, and two more corners. My watch shows 5:30:00, rid of sub-5:30, but I already know that if I stopped following the uncles. I didn't fight with the pain this time, it was no more about timing, it was about crossing the finishing line strong. Last 100m to finishing line, I stopped, I loosen my legs. This is the last 100m I told myself.
I took off, running like I'd endless energy, like I was running a 100m, I sprinted towards the finishing, I wanted to finish strong, I ran like my leg didn't just went through 22km of pain, like it was completely healthy. I was emotional during that 100m run, but I've no more fluid in my body to let me tear XD. I crossed the finish line @ 5:35:00:08/03:40am/Top 25% in Division/ Top 31% Overall. I finished strong.
Halfway through my race, I was quite devastated knowing I can't finish with a sub-4 timing. But towards the end, I'm very happy I'm finishing and had finished it. It was a very inspirational moment for me. I ran like this was the last marathon in my life. I’d given my best in running this whole course which other thought was absolute ridiculous. If anyone were to ask me whether I have anything to regret in this race, there were none. Goals change according to situations in life; people need to be flexible in hard situations, especially their thoughts, to be happy. That was what I loved about running - immediate life lessons. About never giving up, about having the choices and making the decisions, about showing others how positive you are when you yourself know that you're in lots of pain.
On why my leg died at km16, it should be due to the drugs I was taking for the past 2 weeks for flu, sore throat, and cough. And I’m still recovering while I was running this marathon. People around me will say that I’m crazy to run a 42km, what’s more when I’m sick and still running. That’s the spirit of marathon for me. I could have given up when I felt my heartbeat rising faster and cooling down slower than usual. But I ran the whole course with stomach full of gas, a fast heart rate, and mucus that’s flowing in and out of my nose. I gave up to giving up, these were nothing compared to finishing the race.
Run-walk-stop and stretch, I'd 3 choices, but giving up was never my choice, not in sports, not in life. In life, any challenges thrown to you, if you can do it - run for it; if you doubt about it - go slowly, observe, learn along the way, and continue to do it, it doesn't matter how long it takes, as long as you finish it; if you think you can't, stop for a moment, reflect, re-analyze the problem, find resources, and re-think your decision, stretch your mind, and restart the journey. Thanks to Mr. Elwin for this lesson during the training in Ipoh, I guess the caterpillar was there for a strong reason! I fought with pain for 22km, what else more could I be afraid of in life? I'm always amazed with people who're in endurance sports, they taught me a lot as much as I realized it being in the sport myself. For those who think that this is crazy, well, you won't understand us crazy people, until you try it yourself, but once you're on it, your life will change, that's one thing any endurance athlete can guarantee.
This race was a race well run, lots to reflect on later, like the quote earlier, “It doesn’t matter how slow or how fast I ran, as long as I passed the finish line of a full marathon, I changed my life”. Indeed, there were lots of aspects that I will be seeing it differently from now on.
To friends and relatives (runners or non-runners), I hope this article is somewhat to an extent inspirational to you, especially those who feel like running, just started running, or going to run their 1st 5K, 10K, 21K, 42K. I’m not asking you to endure pain and of course there’re lots more ways to learn about life. But do take note of 1 thing. Never be afraid, and be willing to pay the price for success, as that’s what differentiates the whole human race into 2 halves (W, Elwin).
My next race – Standard Charted KL Full Marathon. This time, I’ll beat the hell out of the 42km… (I finished SC KL Full Marathon a month later, in pain from 10K onwards till 42.195K @ 5:59:00, worse than Sundown Marathon, but I finished it!)
I want to thank my family for their blessings; You-Know-Who-You-Are for being with me throughout the race and laughing at me the next 2 days =.=; Mr. Elwin and family for your help in mental preparations (and of course your salted chicken!); OrangeJungle for your clip; Josie for being an inspirational student; Jason for training with me; Sean for your consultations; Lyn lyn for your help in getting the race-kit; friends, and relatives that thought I can’t do this; and lastly, everyone else who had gave their greatest blessings and encouragement for this meaningful moment of my life! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!"
Post Race - Sleepy (4:00am!)
Waiting for bus - Dead (5:00am)
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